Alternate Endings to Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre provoked quite a heated discussion in my literature class for 9th-12th-grade homeschoolers. Some loved the book; some despised it; and others liked only parts of it. St. John Rivers was universally despised.

To bring out the students’ creativity, I asked them to write an alternate ending to the novel. My only requirement was that they stay reasonably faithful to the existing novel by making the ending something that could have happened with the characters and events Brontë created. (In other words, no “Jane Eyre and Zombies.”) They came up with a hilarious and intriguing variety of endings. Here are a few highlights:

Jane ends up in a convent.

Mr. Rochester used a talisman that commanded a two-headed dragon to get what he most desired (Jane). This one had interesting touches of Poe, Hawthorne, and what I thought was a bit of Eragon but turned out to be related to How to Train Your Dragon.

Mr. Rochester and St. John Rivers fight a duel.

Jane almost marries St. John, but he stabs her with a poisoned dagger. She tries to return to Lowood to teach but is rejected because of her bad choices in potential husbands.

Jane marries St. John, and they have been in India for two years.

St. John marries Blanche Ingram, and they live in Africa next door to Bertha, whose madness was reversed by her fall and who was never actually legally married to Mr. Rochester. Grace Poole raises elephants in Africa, and Jane and Mr. Rochester buy Lowood and turn it into the Helen Burns School for Girls.

Mr. Rochester is dead. Jane marries St. John. Bertha had killed Jane’s uncle and invested all his money in flip-flops. Jane goes mad and kills St. John. This one included a hilarious poetic summary.

St. John agrees to let Jane go to India with him without marrying him. They end up working in a hospital, where Rochester is Jane’s patient, and St. John falls in love with a nurse.

Bertha throws Jane off the roof, and Jane lands on Mr. Rochester; both are presumed dead. Bertha almost marries St. John, but their wedding ceremony is interrupted by an attorney who declares she is already married and her husband is still living. Mr. Rochester appears to verify this claim and break up the wedding.

Mr. Rochester dies in the fire and Jane is on the brink of suicide when she sees a sapling of the horse chestnut tree which gives her hope. She determines to find and take care of Adele.

Jane pushes Rochester off the roof and he dies. Just before she goes to the guillotine, she gives St. John custody of her son.

Jane and Rochester die in a fire before the wedding.

Jane is kidnapped by 6 hooded riders who turn out to be pirates led by St. John Rivers, who had had her uncle killed and burned down Thornfield. She reluctantly joins St. John in leading the India-based pirates and becomes a warrior queen. Queen Victoria calls for troops to defeat the pirates, who keep attacking the East India Trade Company. Rochester volunteers for the army and shoots the warrior queen, then despairs and commits suicide when he realizes he has killed his own true love.

These endings were all much funnier than my hurriedly-scrawled summaries indicate. Today’s class was a blast!